Just a stupid writing #1

I open my eyes. Too early to wake up. But, I cannot sleep anymore.
I just don’t want have that dream again. A bad dream that I even cannot forget.
I saw you, hold my hand and walking with me along that way.
But you suddenly release my hand and left me behind.
You smile at me, and you said you have to go.
You just left me alone on this path.
Never come back, you just left.

Jan 4th, 2015


Just a poem #1

Time flies,  and I didn’t realized
Day, week, month… and year
I still stuck
Still walk on this path
Should I left this path, or keep walking and struggle with all of these?

Jan 4th, 2015

What’s on my mind now

This post just a… –hmmm how to say it– just a writing that suddenly appears on my mind while I listening to a Taylor Swift’s song, Back to December, at 3.22 am :mrgreen:

I just flashed back to my 2014. It’s been a hard year for me.
First because of my job that I felt that my boss didn’t appreciate my hard work and keep an eye to my partner who had bad attitude and work (I’m not jealous but everyone knew it). It’s a hard and disappointed me a lots. 

Second, last year I was broke up with my Korean guy. And the sad thing is, I was totally into him and I was put aside my best friend because of him. And honestly it’s not easy for me to let him go. Even I know,  I do the right thing but I still not satisfied.

Third,  my relationship with my very best friend.  I think it’s the hard time for our friendship on this latest few months.  But it makes me learn about the position of yourself on someone else’s heart or life.  Sometimes you have to realized that you might not be their priority even you put them as your VVIP on your heart or life.

Life is not just pick an option of your life, but how you can deal with your option that you’ve been choosed. Life is just not wake up in the morning and you do your daily activities and complain about your life,  but have you thankful for what you had?

Life is not as simple as you thought.

Jan 3rd, 2015



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Day by day, I know it would never be easy. But I believe everything happened makes us getting know each other, makes us closer, and the important is makes this relationship stronger than before.

What happened few days ago, makes us closer, and mature. I’m glad I had the conversation to explain what’s on my mind. I’m glad I can be honest with you. It teach me a lots. It teach me become a mature person.

For now, and the rest of my life, I would never giving up for this friendship, J. I’m thankful and I’m grateful for having you in my life. Today, tomorrow and for the rest of my life, I always be there for you.

Dec 18th, 2014, 9.01pm

No Title

Gw gak ngerti mesti mulai dr mana… yg pasti there is something yg bikin gw kepikiran. 

I’m so sensitive now and this is not my period week. Dia finally confess kalo dia suka seseorg dan itu bikin gw tiba2 shocked dan speechless. And gw nangis… dan gw ga tau knp…!!!! Dan yg bikin gw sedih bgt, dia kagak reply komen gw di sosmed, dia kagal response foto yg gw tag. Dan itu honestly bikin gw kecewa hbs…… Smp saat ini gw ga ngerti hrs gimana…

Kayanya apa yg org2 blg bener, gw suka dia…. #tepokjidat #ohno #berantakan #bahaya

PS: sorry if I posted this article in Bahasa.

Dec 14th,

When people say….

When people say… impossible for a man and a woman become a best friend.

When people say… both of you are so sweet.

When people say… we thought that he is your boyfriend.

When people say… are you in a relationship with him?

When people say… you must be like him.

When people say… are you in love with him?

When people say…

I don’t care with what people say. My friendship will be last forever and let God decide about what would be happen to us, not people who see or know about our relationship.

Nov 11, 2014

A letter for my best friend



It’s been 31 months since our first “met” and until now I still proud to be your best friend and part of your life.

Tonight, I just realized, that we just a penpal friend… we through it just by emails, messenger and Facebook.  I would never be your truly best friend. I would never be a real best friend. Our friendship is just an internet friendship.

Whatever I’m done for these 31 months it’s nothing… it’s just words that was typed on the email, on the our messenger.

Like you said…. I would never understand you…. because we just an internet best friend.

Oct 5th, 2014

What’s on my mind? What’s on your mind?

It’s always happened every time you will going to Japan. You’re busy and talking something that hurt my heart.

You know I like you. I know you like me. I never push you to speaking a lots about your daily activity. I never asking you to talk a lots with me. I just want you to be who you are.
I still give you time to enjoy your time.

I just want you today, tomorrow and the rest of my life.

May 27, 2014

Why we have to be different?

Different… each of us are different. That’s how God created us right?  No one in this world are perfectly same.

As a couple, should we the same person so we can be together? or a couple is a different person that’s why they are together?

As a person, we need to be ourselves. No need to be another person.

I’m a talkative person, you are a quite person. So we cannot be together? I like just the way you are. Either you quiet or talkative person, I don’t care. I just like your personality.

I just don’t wanna lose you now.

May 27, 2014