So many thoughts appears on my head lately. I’m questioning myself and feel am I that bad?

I was questioning about all my relationship. With my friends, my best friend, my community, my dancers team, everything…..

Have a lots plans… run away plan actually. Starting new chapter in my life, in a new place. But not sure with it. Or just back to my normal activities and still play my role and have to show fake expression and acting.

Have met awesome person and he suddenly left without any info, which is this makes me traumatic to start a long distance relationship. Someone has told me how important I am for his life but he didn’t show that I’m important for his life. My logic was running in my head which is my feeling doesn’t want to lose him. Yes…. I think I’m so stup*d…..

And now, I feel bad with my far away best friend. I’m questioning why always me who asking a chat on messenger. I realized that I who always ask him to online. I never got a message that he’s online and please chat now. Yes, I do apologize that I always posted status in Facebook and tag you, looks like you’re my boyfriend. You’re so precious for me. Falling love with my best friend???  I hope I’m not….

I love my dancing team. I love my dancing activity. But seem I’m just a plug and not the part of core team. They just put me there just because I’m already 10 years joined. What that called? *suddenly lost some vocabulary haha*

It just what’s on my thought. I’m lying on bed because of chicken pox. Hmmmm I hope I’m not crazy because of this disease.

July 1st, 2013
1.35 am